


Though The Photographs May Fade

by Kurai Himitsu (Taskuhecate)



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, M/M, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-06-24
Updated: 2005-06-24
Packaged: 2019-04-08 02:08:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14094708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taskuhecate/pseuds/Kurai%20Himitsu
Summary: Shigure's lost someone close to him. It's been a year, but he can't move on and he can't go back. Will his prayers be answered?





	Though The Photographs May Fade

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N:**  Yeah…this on is ACTUALLY a one-shot…I think I'm getting better at writing one-shots! Yay!
> 
>  **Disclaimer:**  I don't own  _Fruits Basket_  or *shivers* Josh Groban's song "To Where You Are"…(I don't like Josh Groban, just the song…yes, I know it's lame…); not making any money either.

Shigure sighed, putting down the lid of his laptop and closing his eyes. His appearance left much to be desired: his dark hair was mussed and hadn't been combed in days, his eyes were red from lack of sleep, dark circles marring the pale skin under his eyes, and his clothes hadn't been washed in a while either. But no one could exactly blame him for this; grief was the culprit, not negligence.

He opened his eyes and fixed the deep chocolate orbs wearily on the small, framed photograph on the corner of his desk. Gently, he took the small thing in his trembling hands, tears threatening to fall again as he gazed at the smiling face. He brushed his fingertips across the glass, a name forming on his quivering lips.

"Aaya…"

He closed his eyes again, squeezing them shut, trying to keep the crystalline flood at bay.  _Aaya…_  It had already been eleven months, almost a year… Wasn't this supposed to get easier?  _Aaya…_  The hebi was still smiling back at him when he opened his eyes again. A weak smile made its way to Shigure's face, but his eyes still held a pained and haunted light in their depths.

He had always loved this picture. It had been taken before Ayame had received the news… Before the beginning of the end… Gods, he missed the hebi. He still remembered the day they got the news, the horrible fact.

They'd been together for nearly two years, lovers nothing could ever break apart. Then the sickness had started. Ayame had begun complaining of headaches and ringing in his ears so he and Shigure had gone to Hatori. The ryuu hadn't found anything too out of the ordinary, only that the hebi's pupils had been a little larger than normal.

To safe, Hatori had sent them to a specialist of some sort to get a second opinion. The doctors at the hospital had taken tests and scans and drawn blood before sending the pair back. They waited anxiously for the results, only dancing around the subject, flitting about their daily routines, but the shadow seemed deafening.

Then the call had come…

" _Aaya, could you get that?" he'd asked as the phone rang. Ayame had complied, smiling, taking the phone from the cradle and putting it to his ear._

" _Hai?"_

_There was a long pause and the hebi went rigid, his eyes wide, disbelieving, frightened, his entire body beginning to shake. Shigure had frowned, going to his lover's side. "Aaya?"_

_The phone had fallen from Ayame's shaking hand to clatter to the floor as his hands flew to his mouth in shock. Shigure had merely given the hebi a quizzical and worried look as he retrieved the receiver from the carpet; he put it hesitantly to his ear._

" _Hello?" he'd asked. "Who is this?"_

" _Shigure?" came a voice Shigure recognized as Hatori's. It was laden with grief and regret, pain. "Is Ayame all right?"_

_Shigure glanced at his silver-haired lover; he was breathing hard and still shaking as he stared out the window. "I…I think so," he answered slowly. "What did you say to him?"_

_Hatori hadn't answered right away and that had immediately sent a red flag up in the inu's mind. "Shigure…Ayame's test results came back from the specialist…"_

_Shigure's heart had speed up and the blood began to pound in his ears. "And?"_

" _Shigure," sighed the ryuu sadly. "I…I'm afraid it's not good… Ayame has a tumor…"_

_Relief had washed through Shigure; a tumor, that was all. This was nothing to worry about; a little operation and everything would be fine again. "A tumor? Isn't that good? I mean, they can be removed, ne?"_

" _Shigure…it's a brain tumor," whispered Hatori, voice shaking slightly. "It's inoperable and it's growing…"_

_The inu had felt his heart stop, freeze, in the numbness encasing him, swallowing him. "Wha-what?"_

_He heard Hatori drag in a shaky breath. "I'm sorry Shigure," he said, voice shaking. "I'm so sorry…it's fatal…"_

Shigure shook his head. Everything after that was a blur. He'd been stubborn and Ayame had paid for it. He'd taken the hebi to every specialist he could find and he'd had Ayame try everything from radiation therapy to chemotherapy. Nothing had worked.

He'd been forced to watch as his lover slowly deteriorated over the next year, losing control of his thin and weakening body until he was confined to a bed, in constant agony, the headaches so severe that they were forced to sedate him. It had been hell for the inu.

In a month's time, Ayame had lost most of his motor skills, and then finally, mercifully, he'd slipped into a coma, his beautiful golden eyes closing, shutting out the eerily white walls and the drone of the monitors and machines. His lungs had slowly filled with blood and fluid, painlessly suffocating him as Shigure sat there, helpless, holding Ayame's thin, pale hand in his own. Then he was gone and Shigure couldn't believe it.

Shigure still felt as though Ayame hadn't died, that he had merely gone for a while and would be back at any second. When he closed his eyes, he felt he could feel Ayame near him, laughing and chattering like he'd used to.

_Who can say for certain_

_Maybe you're still here_

_I feel you all around me_

_Your memories so clear_

Shigure looked back at the picture in his hands, a grieved look in his eyes. "Aaya…gods, the night got so cold when you left…I still can't sleep well." He snorted, "I'm practically living off NyQuil these days... I miss you…"

But, even though Ayame was gone, he still gave the inu plenty to write about…he was still the inspiration to his every word and story. It was almost as if the hebi was still there, still whispering to him, giving him his inspiration, his muse with golden eyes…his angel…

_Deep in the stillness_

_I can hear you speak_

_You're still an inspiration_

_Can it be_

_That you are mine_

_Forever love_

_And you are watching over me from up above_

He looked up, staring at the ceiling but somehow seeing through it to the night sky above. The stars in all their arcane glory winked back at him, all small golden suns in their own right, only overshadowed by the moon in its mysterious luminescence. Shigure sighed, leaning back as he scanned the sky, turning to the window at his right, the window that Ayame so loved to gaze out and watch the day pass, particularly the snowfall.

_Aaya… Onegai, I miss you so much… Onegai, take me home…bring me to your side…I'm waiting Aaya, but it's so hard…_

What he wouldn't give, wouldn't sacrifice, to see Ayame's bright and confidant smile, his golden eyes wide and curious, silver hair flying. No one had been the same after the hebi had gone… Yuki was more outgoing, perhaps trying to make up for his brother not being there, Hatori had gotten even more quiet, but Shigure…Shigure had withdrawn from everyone, seeking no comfort, placing the blame, not on Hatori, but on himself. The inu became, like many authors before him, a recluse in his own web and world, hardly leaving its bitter safety.

_Fly me up to where you are_

_Beyond the distant star_

_I wish upon tonight_

_To see you smile_

_If only for awhile to know you're there_

_A breath away's not far_

_To where you are_

"Onegai Aaya-koi…I know you can hear me…I  _know_ …"

Shigure silently let the tears slip down his hollowed cheeks, his chocolate eyes never leaving the window, fingers running lightly over the glass of the picture. "Take me home…bring me to you…I can't live without you…onegai…onegai-shimasu… I dream about you every night, Aaya, but that's not enough! A dream can't hold you! Can't love you…onegai…"

Aaya…onegai…

_Are you gently sleeping_

_Here inside my dream_

_And isn't faith believing_

_All power can't be seen_

The inu closed his eyes, a small sob escaped his lips, tears trembling on his smoky lashes and falling to land on the glass, on Ayame's iei.  _Aaya…!_  Silence filled the room, the house. It hadn't been filled with laughter or joy any kind of since Ayame had died. Yuki and Tohru had left, moved out and into their own apartment. Kyo had left as well; last Shigure had heard, the neko was living quite contentedly with Hatsuharu. Shigure snorted.  _At least someone's happy,_  he thought cynically.  _I know I'm not…but no one would know that…and who would care, if not for Hatori?_

Hatori… The ryuu had stopped by every once in a while to check in on the inu, make sure he'd been eating and sleeping enough, worry and pity always in his emerald eyes. Hatori, who always brought him news of the other members of the Sohma family, bought his groceries and other supplies, tried to motivate him with empty words… But nothing worked; Shigure had died with Ayame and was only waiting until his body caught up with his spirit.

 _Aaya…_  Another tear slipped down his cheek.

A soft touch brushed away the crystalline bead, caressing his cheek as it did. "Gure-koi, don't cry," came a whispered voice; Shigure's eyes flew open and locked with pure golden suns staring back at him, love and comfort in their tender depths.

"Aaya," breathed the inu, numb from disbelief. Standing before him was the hebi, as he'd been when they'd first been together almost two years ago, his waist-length silver hair shinning in the moonlight, his golden eyes like two small suns smiling at him. He was wearing a long flowing white kimono; silver snakes were embroidered along the hem in wide loops and arches, their eyes were small twinkling rubies sewn directly into the silken fabric. The hebi smiled slightly, his pale skin seemed to glow in the dim light of the room, and he radiated peace and warmth. "Aaya…how can it be!"

_As my heart holds you_

_Just one beat away_

_I cherish all you gave me everyday_

' _Cause you are mine_

_Forever love_

_Watching me from up above_

The hebi laughed lightly, eyes crinkling with mirth. "I missed you too Gure-koi," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner…but I was still hoping you'd move on…learn to live again."

"How could I?" asked Shigure, swallowing and launching himself at the silver-haired angel. He buried his face in the front of Ayame's kimono as the hebi gently stroked his hair. "I could never live without you…you  _are_  my life… Never leave me again, koishii!"

"I won't Gure-koi; if truly wish it, I won't," assured Ayame gently. "But are you sure this is what you want?"

Shigure sniffed, looking up at the hebi's soft features. "What…what do you mean?"

Ayame frowned slightly, a look of unease in his golden eyes. "If…if I take you with me Shigure, that means your body here on earth dies…and it won't be revived."

"I don't care," cried the inu. "As long as I'm with you I don't care what happens!"

Ayame sighed. "As you wish Gure-koi, but remember, you asked for this…and I love you." The hebi closed his eyes and held Shigure to him as a warm feeling began to consume him. He felt himself be lifted and he clung to his lover, eyes squeezed shut, hands twisting in Ayame's silken hair and kimono, knuckles white.

_And I believe_

_That angels breathe_

_And that love will live on and never leave_

He heard Ayame chuckle quietly above him. "You can open your eyes now Gure-koi."

Hesitantly, Shigure opened his chocolate eyes to see what looked like a dazzling crystal palace; jewels of every size and shape adorned it. The floor was gleaming amethyst, the chandelier was a lustrous bronze, the walls were made of shimmering pearl, and the high gothic vaulted ceiling was sapphire with glittering diamonds that looked like stars in the sea of azure. "It's beautiful," he whispered, awed.

Ayame smiled. "Aa, that's what I thought too, when I first came here."

Shigure swallowed. "Anou, where exactly is  _here_?"

"The entrance to Eternal Rest," answered Ayame quietly, rubbing his arm awkwardly. "I could have taken you right in, but I thought you might like this…"

The inu smiled and pulled Ayame's thin waist to his, brushing his fingers gently down the hebi's soft cheek before kissing him. "I love it Aaya," he whispered pulling away.

Ayame giggled. "Good…are you ready?"

Shigure blinked. "For what?"

"To pass through," replied Ayame, gesturing to the wall in front of them. Shigure looked and gasped in surprise. Where there had been a blank pearl wall a few minutes previous, there was now a set of golden doors ornately decorated with emeralds, rubies, silver moons, and stars.

"That wasn't there before!"

Ayame laughed. "Well you can't expect it to stay there all the time Gure-koi. C'mon, are you ready?"

Shigure bit his lip anxiously. "Is…is it…nice there?" he asked softly.

The hebi smiled, gently squeezing Shigure's hand. "Aa…it's heaven…"

The inu swallowed again but nodded determinedly. "All right; I'm ready."

Ayame gently took his hand, smiling, love reflecting in his golden eyes as he lead the inu to the doors; he stopped, giggling. "Gomen ne, I just find it a little amusing that they call them the 'Pearly Gates' but they're not pearly nor are they even gates…"

Shigure chuckled nervously and they made their way to door; the door, by some power of its own, swung slowly open of its own accord and a blazing white light blinded the inu, who threw up his free arm to shield his eyes as he and Ayame crossed the threshold.

He could hear Ayame chuckle softly. "It's all right Gure-koi," he said. "You're home now…and I'll never leave you again my love…"

_Fly me up_

_To where you are_

_Beyond the distant star_

_I wish upon tonight_

_To see you smile_

_If only for awhile_

_To know you're there_

_A breath away's not far_

_To where you are_

"Shigure! Open the door!"

Yuki sighed. "I don't think he's here Hatori. Maybe we should come back later?"

The ryuu shook his head restlessly. "Iie, Shigure never leaves anymore, not even to buy his supplies… He hasn't left since…since Ayame died…"

Yuki flinched, his violet eyes pained. But the moment passed and he was himself again. "All right, then we might as well go in since he's obviously not going to open the door for us."

Hatori nodded and quickly unlocked the door and headed down the hall, towards Shigure's study, where he knew the inu spent most of his time. "Shigure?" he called. "It's Hatori; where are you?"

There was no answer and Hatori was getting worried now. He paused in front of the door to Shigure's study before hesitantly knocking. "Shigure? Are you there?" Again there was no answer. "Shigure, I'm coming in…"

The ryuu opened the door and gazed around the deathly silent room before his emerald eyes landed on the inu's still form. "Shigure?"

Yuki's deep violet eyes shown with concern as they, too, rested on the inu. "Shigure? Are you joking with us; cause it's not funny…"

Hatori made his way to the Shigure's side as the inu sat silently in his writing chair, chocolate eyes closed peacefully, a gentle and serene smile on his pale lips, Ayame's iei still clutched in his limp hand. Hatori gently tapped the inu's shoulder, crouching so he was level with the closed eyes.

He lightly caressed the inu's closed his eyes, swallowing. He stood back up and strode to the door, his face drawn but somehow emotionless. "Come on Yuki, let's go."

Yuki frowned, brows knit in confusion. "But Hatori, what about Shigure?"

The ryuu stopped but didn't look back. "Shigure's not here anymore, he's home now…with Ayame at last…"

Yuki's eyes widened. "Oh kami…!"

Hatori sighed, glancing back, a small smile curling his lips. "It's about time… They're finally together again…nothing can tear them apart this time…"

"But he's gone!" said Yuki, shocked, but Hatori just shook his head.

"Though the photographs may fade," he whispered, glancing over to see a carefully hung framed picture of Ayame and Shigure, their eyes shining with love for one another. "They will always be with us, as they are at long last with each other…"

_I know you're there_

_A breath away's not far_

_To where you are_

_—Owari—_

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:**  Yay! It's done! Aww…kawaii! Poor Aaya-chan…I'm so cruel… But it has a nice ending, I think. Well,  _you_  tell me what  _you_  think; I'd love to hear! (Even if it is a flame…but please, try to make it constructive, even if it must be a flame…)
> 
>  **Glossary** :
> 
> _**Hebi-** snake, serpent_
> 
> _**Ryuu-**  Dragon_
> 
> _**Hai-**  A more formal version of 'yes'_
> 
> _**Inu-**  Dog_
> 
> _**Onegai-**  Less formal, but more common, version of 'please'_
> 
> _**-Koi-**  A word of many meanings... Here, it's used as 'love' (i.g. Ayame-love)_
> 
> _**Onegai-shimasu-**  'Please'; commonly translated as 'I beg of you'_
> 
> _**Iei** -_  _A picture of a deceased person_
> 
> _**Neko-**  Cat_
> 
> _**Koishii-**  Love, lover, sweetheart, beloved..._
> 
> _**Aa-** Less formal version of 'yes'; normally used by men_
> 
> _**Iie-**  More formal version of 'no'_


End file.
